The Red Death
by 7thcircleofhell
Summary: Al is gone. Ed comes back from a long mission with bad health. What's wrong with him? Is there anything Roy can do for his lover? Find out!
1. Chapter 1

Chap 1

"Roy, I'm back," Ed called from the door way.

"Welcome back! I'm in the kitchen," Was Roy's reply. As Ed entered the kitchen Roy turned to him and smiled. "How was the mission?"

"Troublesome and tiring. Where's my real greeting," Ed inquired as he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms.

Roy graced him with a lustful smile, slunk his way over to Ed before grabbing him around the waist and pulling him snugly against his own body. He looked deeply into his gold eyes that he hadn't seen in over a month, ghosting his lips over Ed's rather silky warm lips, enjoying breathing Ed's air for a few seconds before colliding lips fully and trying to suck the life from his beloved. Ed smiled through the kiss, finally relived to have made it back home to his love. The only person he had left.

Finally braking for air Ed said, "Now that's what I'm talking about."

"Dinner's almost done," Roy replied, still smiling.

Ed shook his head, "I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed early."

"You aren't hungry," Roy questioned, astonished. He couldn't believe his ears! Ed, not hungry?

"I ate on the train. Night," Ed said as he turned and made for the second floor and bed.

Roy looked at the clock, it was only five. That was very odd. Ed always ate, wether he was tired after a mission or not. There's a first for every thing and this just happened to be that first, that Roy knew of anyway. They had been living together now for two years. Ed still did things from time to time that surprised him. There were things tho. Times when Roy couldn't find Ed in the house and then he suddenly shows up smiling like he was always there. Then there was the black bag. He always takes it with him on orders and Roy was never allowed to look in it. It was as if Ed had a sensor on it that alerted him when he got within touching distance, and then Ed was there with that smile to distract him and act as if nothing had ever happened. Everyone has secrets tho right? Did he really want to pry Ed's from him . . .?

* * *

Roy slipped upstairs after eating and doing the dishes. He entered the room as quietly as possible. He stood in the dark as still as a shadow until his eyes dilated and he could see, before making sure Ed was out. He moved silently thanks to his military training and field experience, the only good thing to come of it, towards the bathroom. Closing the door and stuffing a towel into the crack under the door, he turned the light on and went straight to Ed's drawer and slid it open. Roy didn't see the bag at first, but after some thought he carefully moved everything closer to the front. Peering into the drawer's depths he made out the out line of a bag. Roy stared at it with trepidation. What was he going to find? Drugs? Razors? Something worse then what Roy could imagine?

Finally plucking up his courage with the reminder that he needed to know if it was something hurting Ed, he opened the zippered pouch . . . What was he looking at? Drugs, yes, but pharmaceutical? Two bottles. "_Isoniazid and Rifampin? What is that and what is it for? What's that, what's it for? What's wrong with my Edward,_" Were the thoughts that came to mind. It did make sense tho, his not wanting to eat and going to bed early. What was he supposed to do? How was he to help with this? Roy closed the bag and slipped it, and everything else, back into it's proper place so as not to warrant suspicion, changed, and slipped into bed. Sleep was slow to come, his mind was running possibilities and the most horrible disasters. In the end he knew he had to ask Ed what was going on; give him a chance to tell him personally before he looked it up himself. One was or another he was going to get his answers.

* * *

Ed woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and got in the shower before Roy. Usually, Roy was up first but seeing as how he went to bed early and slept for so long he woke up before Roy for a change. After he showered and he went to make breakfast for them, leaving his hair down to air dry the rest of the way. By the time Ed finished Roy was coming down fully dressed and ready for work.

As Ed was finishing up setting the table Roy grabbed him from behind and pulled him tight up against his body. He had slid his arms around Ed's waist and laid his head on his right shoulder to watch Ed's movements. Ed smiled softly; Roy was such a touchy feel-ly person. You wouldn't think he was that kind of person from looking at him. Always stern and serious any time he was in public. It was good though. It was what Ed needed. He was such a recluse and even though he played happy, cheerful in public he was rarely ever happy. That was why they fit so well together. One was what the other was not. They played "normal" for everyone, but that wasn't what or who they really were.

"I want you to stay home today," Roy said as he moved to the other side of the table to sit and eat.

Ed paused, surprised by the abrupt change, "What about the report?"

"It can wait for tomorrow, or you can tell me tonight when I get home," Roy replied.

"But, I'm already dressed. There's really no reason for me to stay home when I normally go in anyway," was Ed's rebuttal.

"A day to rest before returning to work should be a good thing, besides I'm the boss. I say you take the day off," Roy said in that authoritative finality voice Ed found irritating most times.

Ed shrugged, he knew that when Roy set his mind to some thing he went through with it to the end. That was how they got together in the first place. Al had died and Ed didn't see the point in living, so there he sat in the tub with his arm transmuted into his blade and he was about to slit the major artery in his arm when Roy burned the door to ash and restrained Ed. After that he refused to leave Ed. Roy swore he would keep Ed alive. Things got so much more complicated than that as time went on. All it took was one incident and everything was set into motion.

Ed was still a walking zombie and all Roy could do was set a routine and try to get things back in order as much as possible. As Ed was in the shower, only moving on auto pilot, Roy stood outside the door just incase anything happened. And it did. Roy was standing out side the door as usual when he heard a loud thud. His heart stopped a half beat before he was moving as fast as he could to get in and see what had happened. Roy couldn't describe the relief and ache that pounded through his heart at the sight. It seemed as Ed stood in the shower his right mind came back to him and he was sobbing uncontrollably. Every inch of his body heaving or shaking from the sobs.

Ignoring the water Roy kneeled down beside Ed and gathered him into his arms. It wasn't until Roy noticed the water turning frigid cold, that he try to move Ed. As he pulled them up he realized just how naked Ed was, and how sexy he looked all wet. Trying to suppress a deep blush and sudden boner, Roy dried Ed off and got him dressed and in bed before to turned to take a cold shower and change into dry clothes. But that was only the begging of things.

So resigned to his fate, not that it was bad or any thing, Ed sighed but nodded his head in acquiescence. Roy nodded his approval as well and they ate in relatively comfortable silence. As Roy finished his breakfast he got up and put the dishes in the sink to be done later. Ed got up as well shadowing Roy's movement. Roy took Ed into his arms and buried his face in the still damp golden hair and took a deep breath. He loved Ed's smell; apple from the shampoo and a deeper omnipresent smell Roy couldn't place a name for, except just plain Ed.

"I love it when you leave your hair down," Roy said as he took another deep breath.

Ed smiled. Roy was the only reason he kept his hair long any more. Before it was only because he was on the move so much and had more pressing issues on his mind then to deal with his hair, but now that he stayed in one place more he could cut it. Ed enjoyed having Roy so close all the time tho. Touching his hair or smoothing it out or breathing in the scent of it; he'd never touch his hair if it meant having a reason to keep Roy close to him.

"I'll keep it down today, for you. Just come home soon."

Roy couldn't help the smile that pulled on the corners of his mouth. Just the idea of Ed home alone with his hair down dressed in his usual home attire, a wife beater and boxers, was enough to turn him on, but to add that he was doing it all for him and what they might do after he got back was enough to keep him tented for hours. Pushing aside all the yummy images of Ed doing naughty things as far back in his head as possible he gave a quick nod and kiss before turning to put his boots on and leaving.

Ed smiled. He knew precisely what Roy was thinking about and it just made his heart feel like bursting that much more. He loved Roy so much, but at the thought of his own future Ed's happy thoughts dimmed and his elated heart felt like weights had been slammed on. Fully depressed again, Ed turned back to the sink and started the dishes. Contrary to how Ed had started feeling that morning, he wasn't feeling so well any more. Finishing the dishes he went back up stairs changed into his usual house clothes and went to bed.

* * *

Roy walked in the door and stopped; the lights were off. Had Ed gone some where? Roy turned on the light over the entryway and removed his boots and striped off his coat and hung it up before moving through the house in search of Ed. As Roy flipped the lights on in the bedroom he heard a groan and realized Ed was in bed and turned the lights off. He moved over to the bed as Ed rolled over and sat up as a cough racked his body.

"Hey, you okay," Roy questioned as he sat down next to Ed on the bed.

"Yeah, what time is it?"

"It's six. I got tied up at work. Don't tell me you slept all day long," The concern in Roy's voice was palpable on the cooling night air.

"Yeah I guess I did."

Roy suddenly remembered Ed's black bag and the contents in it. "Are you sick Edward?" He tried to keep his voice curious. He wanted to give Ed the chance to explain first.

Ed was suddenly glad the lights were out; he could feel the color in his face drain away. Had he found out, had someone told him? No, he couldn't have; taking a deep breath Ed felt his lungs constrict and he ended up coughing. Once he regained his breath he realized Roy was rubbing circles on his back and trying to get him to drink some water. Just how bad was that fit of coughing, that Roy had time to get water without him noticing?

"Ed . . . I . . . last night I saw what was in your black bag . . . Ed, what is it for? How sick are you?"

Ed's breath stopped all together in that moment and he felt light headed. It was out; Roy knew he was sick. Would he run not wanting to catch it once he told him specifically what was wrong? Would he not want to be with him any more? Would he ship him off some where and start dating some one else? Panic rose in his heart like a tsunami and in the pail light from the bathroom Roy could see the utter fear and panic in his loves eyes and feel every tense line in Ed's back; and his heart nearly broke. How long had Ed been hiding something this important from everyone? Roy gathered up the now shaking body in his arms and rocked him back and forth murmuring soft reassuring nothings into Ed's ear until the shaking subsided. With Ed still in his embrace Roy couldn't wait any longer for his answers.

"Ed, baby, what's wrong," He asked with a ting of his own fear in his voice. He needed to hear it from him, so he could help.

Ed sniffed trying to fight off the threat of tears, gathered his courage, and spoke, "I . . . God, don't worry you won't get it, I already asked and since you got the vaccine you're safe, so you don't have to worry, please just don't leave me!"

The desperation in Ed's face and voice made Roy pull his blond lover further into his lap; placing soft kisses on every inch of his distraught lover he could reach. "Babe, I'm not going anywhere. I would never leave you. Please, please tell me how sick are you?"

"Very," Ed said weakly, "They said I've only a year maybe two at most. But . . ."

"But what Ed?"

"That was a while ago when they told me . . . I've only a year or less now."

Roy sat in stunned silence, his brain refusing to digest the facts he was just given. Finally he regained enough thought to ask, "When did you get sick? How . . ."

Ed was crying now. He didn't want Roy to know. He wanted to go on pretending everything was fine, live out his days happily with Roy at his side, but Roy deserved to know. "When Al died. The town we were in had an out break of something. I hadn't known what it was. By the time the symptoms appeared it was too late. It's already spread and it's slowly killing me," He said softly as tears slipped from his eyes silently.

"You still haven't told me what it is," Roy said his voice devoid of all emotion.

Ed didn't even try to lift his eyes to see Roy's face. That was it. Roy didn't want him anymore. Ed's heart shattered and sliced his insides to little red ribbons. He knew it had all been to good to be true. Roy didn't need him to hold him back. He didn't need some one dying on him. Ed couldn't stop the sobs that suddenly shook his body with such violence he started coughing again to the point where he was gagging on it. He covered his mouth hunched in on himself as again Roy tried to calm the coughing. When he regained control he looked at his hand; it was speckled with dark spots. Moving his hand into the light to get a better look he heard Roy gasp sharply.

"Blood! Ed, tell me, please," Roy knew what it was now, but he had to hear it from Ed.

"Tuberculosis, I have tuberculosis."

They sat in silence. Ed new what would happen now. Roy would ask him to pack his things and leave. But the longer he sat and waited the more he just wanted things done with, he didn't want to sit here in the circle of the arms of the man he loved, listening to his heart beat and soaking up his warmth. Using all the control he had he got up and moved away from Roy and went t the closet and paused with his hand on the door knob.

"I'll have my things packed and I'll be out of your way tomorrow morning."

Roy was thrown off balance at the change in topic, and the absurdity of it left him temporarily speechless for a second time that night, be for his emotions came hurdling back. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I know you don't want to spend your time and effort on a sick body. There's no point in me stying here and dragging you down with me. You shouldn't have to wait around for me to die before you find some one else," But what ever he was going to say next was lost as Roy jump to his feet, spun Ed around, and slammed him into the wall.

"Do you really think you mean so little to me? That the second I thought you worthless I would toss you out," Roy was pissed now. Had Ed really thought what they had was so weak?

"I know you can do better then me? I don't know how you ever tolerated being with me."

Roy stopped his lover there. He kissed that smart mouth gently but throughly, pouring his soul and all the love he had into the smaller man. "Ed, I love you _so_ much. I could never let you go."

Ed broke at the tenderly spoken words. It was more then he could ever hope for. "Do you really mean that," Ed asked searching the dark eyes for any sign that this was all a game, but found nothing more then utter truth, love and devotion.

"You know I do. I always have."

Ed lunged forward the last little bit of space remaining between them and locked his arms around is lovers neck; cling to his last life line because his life depends on it. The relief was crushing and lifting at the same time for Ed's world weary shoulders and heart, and again he broke down and cried, but this time from a sense of love and peace in his life again. Because with out a doubt Roy loves him. Roy gave the blond in his arms another tight squeeze and backed up enough to see his face.

"What do you want for dinner? Your choice tonight."

Ed pulled a disapproving face. He still wasn't hungry but he knew he had to eat or he would worry Roy even more. "Ummm . . . I don't know, what ever you want."

Roy's face darkened at the response but he fought it down and nodded. "All right. Will you sit with me while I make dinner?"

"Of course," Ed would spend every second he had with the man because his impending doom was coming closer and closer and he wanted all the time he could steal.

"Ed, I also want a list of the effects this is going to have on you. I don't want to be surprised and I want to know how I can help, as much as I can."

Ed's gaze dropped to the floor as he frowned. He really didn't want to give Roy the details. Not because he didn't want the help or anything like that, but because he didn't want Roy to know how weak he was. He did begrudgingly nod and walked off to get a piece of paper and a pen as Roy moved down to the kitchen to start dinner. When Ed came back he had a folded piece of paper with him and placed it under his arm to pin it to the table. Roy wasn't going to push the issue; at least he had done as he asked with out much of a fight, at least externally.

"Have you thought about quitting the military yet," Roy asked carefully, his back to Edward.

Ed was quiet a few moments before he spoke, "I have. The day I quite will be the day I can no longer rise from bed. This is to be spoken to _no body_. I don't want anyone to know until they have to," Roy was silent, stirring items in the pan. "I'm not going to sit around the house doing nothing and waiting for death to find me sitting on my ass. I refuse to let this fuck up what bit of a life I have left. I won't let this effect the way I live Roy, I won't."

Roy nodded before turning around to look at Ed, "I'm going to respect your wishes because I know I would do things the same way, but I'm not going to send you on difficult missions knowing you might not come back. I can't live with that; knowing I sent you out on a job you would have difficulties with, were you at full strength."

"That's going to look awfully suspicious you know; all of a sudden I'm taking missions below me. If people start to question me I'm going to send them to you, and you better have something to tell them that will throw them off the trail."

"I'm sure I can come up with something . . . I love you Ed."

Ed gave Roy a small sad smile, "I love you to Roy."


	2. Chapter 2

Chap 2

Dinner was a sad affair. They both sat in silence. Edward trying to eat as much as he could and still not quite able to get enough into him to please Roy, but he had let it go after a little protesting. After Roy finished the dishes they retired back to the bedroom. Ed placed the completed list on Roy's night stand before crawling back into bed.

Roy cuddled Ed to him, pulling him as tight to his body as he could. In doing this Roy suddenly noticed a difference in Edward; just the slightest of changes. But as he wrapped his arms around him he noticed he could wrap him in his arms a little more totally then before. Edward is losing weight. He knew things were going to change, but knowing and seeing are two totally different things. Made is scarier, closer, more looming then before. He was suddenly lost. There is nothing he can do to stop or change this. Edward is going to die. Roy tucked his face into the back of Ed's neck and into that wonderful mass of hair, trying not to fall into his own fit of crying. He had to be strong for Edward, didn't he? He must have revealed something, because Edwards voice cut through the darkness and pierced his heart.

"It's okay, I've made peace with this. I only have three regrets in life. I wish I could have been there for Al in his last moments. I wish I could have got his body back . . . I wish I didn't have to leave you. If the doctors are right it won't even be that painful," He didn't make it any farther, as Roy started to cry; he couldn't hold on any longer. He cradled Roy's arms to his body and wept. Exhausted he slowly drifted off to sleep, but Roy clung to him for far longer, listening to his even breathing, before he to joined him in sleep.

* * *

Roy was awake and thinking right away. No slow coming to wakefulness this morning. Thoughts about Edward's sickness and how little he actually knew about it plagued his mind. He reached over to the night stand and grabbed the list Edward made the night before. It was a short list but not a good one at all; coughing up blood, fever, loss of appetite, weight loss, and loss of energy. Roy had already witnessed three of the five symptoms, but only Ed knew if he had all five or not.

Edward looked so peaceful sleeping, like this was some sort of nightmare and he'd woken up from. But he knew this was not true. The note in his had proved it and the fact that if he really looked at him he could see the angles of his body were a little more pronounced, the skin over his cheeks and hips sharper. Not at all a dramatic change from his lean body, but enough to know, this is real.

Things must be progressing faster. Things weren't this bad a month ago when he left for his mission. This last one was demanding of one person. Two really should have gone, but Edward was so good and never complained any more, and every time a person was suggested to go with him he'd have a fit, saying he didn't need the help. He always got the job done and came home. If anything he was just gone longer then expected. He didn't like it but he had become dependent of him in that way. Anything dangerous and he knew if he sent him out things would get taken care of one way or another. He never liked sending him out but he never really thought anything would really happen either. Even when he was a kid he was tenacious. He survived everything and kept on going. That was it, that is why this is so hard for him to accept. Edward's a survivor. He always came through in the end. But this would be his end. This would really be it. The thing Edward can't survive. Ed stirred and Roy put the list back on the night stand and curled up with Edward again.

"Morning," he said sleepily.

"Morning," He just couldn't bring himself to add the 'good' to his greeting.

"What time is it?"

"About time to get up," He loved watching Ed wake up. He's always so drowsy even on the best of days. It always takes him a while to even open his eyes. They'd flutter between open and closed until he was dressed and sipping on his coffee. But it was always best when he woke up with messy bed head. It didn't happen often. Most times he braided his hair back for sleep as well as day. That's why it's such a treat when he leaves it down.

"'m 'kay," He was all ready half asleep again. Every other time Roy found this cute, like a little kid. But, this was not every other time and it suddenly frightened him. The lack of chuckle or any other response got Ed's tired eyes open. He saw the fear and didn't like it at all. "I'm not going to die this very moment Roy," he said seriously, staring into those fathomless black eyes he loves so much. "There are stages yet to come before it's immanent. This is why I didn't want to tell you. I want to have as much time with you as I can, just living our lives. I don't want to ruin my memories with the fear of death looming over me. Can you try for me, to just forget this until we have to deal with it? There's nothing we can do anyway. I'm taking the medication to help fight it and give me a little more time; other then that there is nothing to do but go on."

Watching him like this Roy could really see how much Ed has grown up. But most of that was his brother's death and, now that he knew, accepting his fate. But if Ed could accept it and live his live then so could he. "All right, I'll do my best. For you Edward I would do anything."

Edward gave him his best smile, which caused Roy's heart to skip a beat at it's beauty, before he said, "Good. Now give me a kiss and let's get ready for work."

Roy couldn't help but to smile and comply. It was an order after all and that smile always got him. And those lips! He could never get enough! So smooth, so soft, so warm, and all ready he was half hard. "Mmm, Edward, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Why," Roy could practically eat the suspicion from that one word with a spoon.

"Cause I think we're going to be late to work. I never did welcome you home completely," as he said this he rubbed his hardening shaft along the young mans thy, bring a gasp of startled lust from those supple lips.

"I never thought you'd want to once you found out," but his body was already responding in kind as he said this.

"As long as what we do doesn't hurt you or make things worse, I don't think I could stop," and as he said this he had moved on to licking, nipping and kissing at the tender flesh of his neck and ear lobs. "Your choice lover, anything you want, anyway you want it."

And how could Ed pass that up. Of course there had been things they hadn't tried because he was too embarrassed or because he didn't think Roy would want to, but if he was being offered all of that, how could he possibly say no? He couldn't, there was no way he could force that past his lips. "Anything I want? Even if you don't want to?"

"Anything, even if I don't want to. But Ed, there really isn't anything I wouldn't try with you so long as you let me."

"In that case, just a quickie this morning, I want to try the sixty-nine."

"You should have said something sooner. I've some experience with it. I never knew you were interested or I would have tried it before. Strip and lay on your side." He would have loved to spend the day slowly stripping his lover of his clothes and teasing them both till he begged for it, but Edward was right. They shouldn't take too long or Hawkeye would shoot them both on sight for skipping work or at the least half the day. Twenty or thirty minutes late wouldn't be too bad.

* * *

Their little romp that morning had however, tapped all of Edwards energy reserves. As they got to work Ed had to promptly sit down. Luckily, by the time he went in to give his report he had regained his breath and the rest of the day was spent on research for Roy. But as he was compiling the information in gave him time to think some things over.

"Roy," Ed called out later that night over dinner. After Roy was looking at him he continued, "I need to head out to Resembool. My automail is getting loose and I need to have it tightened."

Roy picked up a sad note in Edwards voice and decided to give his thoughts as to why it was there, " You want to go see Alphonse."

Edward looked down at his plate, silent for a moment, before replying, "It's been a while. I haven't seen him since I left, and I thought I should see Pinako and Winry before, things get too serious."

Roy really didn't want to let Ed go. He really was getting worse. He shouldn't be left aline to travel so far. But would he really stop him from seeing his brother, and visiting family? He couldn't do it, but he really didn't want to let him out of sight any more. Irrationally scared that Ed would suddenly become too ill to move and die alone, with out him there at the very end. Quickly shoving those kinds of thoughts away, he grudgingly gave his answer, "It's a good idea. When were you planning on leaving?"

Ed looked up then, his face painted in guilt and regret, "Tomorrow. I'm sorry, I thought you wouldn't approve. The sooner I leave the sooner I can get back." The lingering _before I'm too sick_ was left to hang unsaid between them. Roy gave a jerky nod before lapsing into silence. Dinner was finished in the same manner. Silent. Come time to sleep, they still had yet to speak to each other. Edward finally had enough. He would not spend precious time in silent awkwardness.

"Roy, give me a massage before I go, will you?"

"Sure."

As Roy pulled the blankets back Ed rolled over. Roy had started this a while back. After a particularly hard mission Ed had come back with knotted muscles around his automail, so Roy had taken it upon himself to rub down him right shoulder blade, neck, chest, before moving to what was left of his left leg, and lower back. In the begging it also served as a way to get him to relax so he could sleep, but Roy also used it as a preclude to sex when he wanted to, but tonight was all business.

Ed knew when Roy was ready he would speak, until then he just enjoyed the massage. "I just . . .too much too fast. Last night I found everything out and now tonight you're telling me you're leaving. I wont stop you of course, but come back soon or I will come after you."

The stern seriousness in Roy's voice made Ed smile. "I'll come back as soon as I can. I promise."

Done with the massage Roy pulled Ed to him and held on with all his strength as Ed drifted off, and he soon followed.

* * *

"You're sure you have everything?" Roy asked the next morning as they got ready for their days.

"Yep, you sure you're not going to have a heart attack and die on me?" Roy had been subtly worrying at him all morning and it was cute, but so much more fun to tease him because of it.

He got a glare for the remark, he just shrugged it off and turned to put his boots on and grab his bag. Roy grabbed him around the waist and pulled him back into his chest. "Be well, and come home soon," He said into Ed's braid.

Rd turned in his arms and fixed Roy with a stern look, "Roy Mustang, stop worrying! Nothing will happen. I've made this trip so many times I could do it blindfolded and backwards. And if I hear you've been excessively drinking, and don't worry I will find out, you won't know what hit you!"

The threat did it. Roy visibly relaxed and smiled at Edward and gave him a heart felt kiss before they left the house.

* * *

The train ride seemed longer then before. He'd never had to travel alone before. Al had always been with him. Even when he made the trip from Resembool after Al's funeral didn't seem so long, but then he hadn't been in his head at all. Al's death had played on repeat the whole ride to Central.

As the train pulled up, he exited and started the walk to the cemetery. He stopped at the entrance not sure if he could go in and knowing he had to. He moved first to his mother and wiped the dust from the stone and cleared her name off. He stood before her grave for sometime before he spoke, "I'm sorry mom. You told us to watch out for each other. I failed. I was supposed to protect him. It's my fault he's gone. I'm sorry." Ed sniffled, he would not cry before his mother. He knew he'd cry before Al though.

He moved on to Al's grave beside his mothers. Again he stood for a long time before his brother's grave, before knowing where to start. "I'm sorry Alfonse. I never even got your body back. Everything was my fault." a sob shook his body and stopped his words. He couldn't stop the tears as they started to fall, thick and hot from closed eyes. After regaining his voice he continued, "I should never have left you in Central. I can't change anything now, but I wish I had been there sooner to get your soul back. Don't worry brother, I'll be where ever you are now soon, and you can kick my ass as much as you want to. I just can't go yet. I'm sorry if you're angry Al, but I'm in love with Roy. I don't want to leave him yet. But I'm sick and I don't have much time left anyway." that was all Ed could say before he fell to his knees and cried for them all.

Once he pulled himself together he made his way to Winry's house. He felt so awkward, did he knock on the door, did he just walk in? Deciding to knock, just in case Winry wanted to refuse him, he waited. Winry opened the door looking like she was going to say something, but the sight of Ed had shorted out her brain. Ed gave a nervous half smile.

"Hi, Winry. Uhh, I was wondering if you could tighten up my automail for me, if you're not to busy?"

That got a reaction. She smiled evilly and said, "So you've hit your growth spurt and now you're shrinking?"

Ed just smiled at her and gave a nod. With Ed's rather controlled reply Winry didn't know what to say or do now. Ed noticed how lost she looked and took pity on her. "I have some things I need to tell you and Pinako, if you'll let me in that is."

Ed didn't like the serious, expectant look that took dominance of her features but she let him in. "Sure Ed, no problem. We have lots to talk about and all the time in the world."

Ed tried not to flinch at the last comment. They may have all the time in the world, but he sure didn't. He moved to the guest room he and Al normally used and unpacked the few things he brought. He was in no hurry to tell them all he had to tell. He knew they'd wait till after dinner any way. Or so he had hoped. However, half way thru dinner Winry exploded.

"I'm not waiting any more Edward! Tell me what happened to Alphonse!" She sat glaring at Ed as he had frozen in his chair as she exploded. When Ed still sat she brought her fist down onto the table, making the dishes clink and rattle, startling Pinako at the same time.

Ed very quietly and calmly replied, "Calm down Winry. I was just trying to figure out where to start. I'm not going t be around much linger, but I'd prefer it wasn't you who kills me."

That shut her up. She sat stunned in her chair. It was Pinako that spoke up first. "Well, I hope you haven't gone and done something stupid again, at least tell me you haven't been reckless these past two years."

"No, nothing reckless; but you want to know about Al, right?"

That woke Winry up, "Yes! I can't believe you up and disappeared in the middle of the night, like some sort of thief!"

Ed sighed, she was fuming again. But he gathered himself and started anyway. . .

* * *

"Brother?"

"What is it Al," Ed asked after Al didn't continue.

"What's wrong with these people," His question was whispered as they passed more people coughing and standing in line to be seen by a doctor.

"I don't know," Ed said now looking at the people. "Let's just find this guy and see id he really knows about the philosophers stone or if he's another fake, and get out of here before we catch what they got."

They moved through the small town to the house they were looking for. Ed gave the old looking door a good knock, and the while thing fell inward.

"Ah!" Ed exclaimed, surprised by the suddenness of it.

"Good job brother, get him mad at us before we even talk to him!"

"It wasn't my fault! The thing just fell over! Any way, it's open. Let's see if he's home."

They searched the house but found no one and the library looked ransacked. Just as they were sifting through the books, looking for anything useful, they heard someone run for the front door. They locked eyes for a split second before rushing out to find who ever it was. As they cleared the front door they realized there were two people running. As soon as the people noticed them they split in opposite directions.

"Al!"

"Right!"

They split to follow their query. Ed ran through town, but lost the person around a corner. He searched the nearby door ways and still nothing. As he rounded the corner of a motel, he jumped back on instinct, just as a sickening thud and crunch sound invaded his senses. Looking down he noticed the person who he was chasing, laying on the ground dead. Ed slowly looked up and noticed he must have jumped from the roof of the three story motel.

Ed cursed and noticed locals were coming out to see what had been going on. Ed backed down an alley and slipped away to find Al. It had looked like they had been heading for the edge of town when they had split. It took some wandering just to find where this had all began, but once there he took the path his brother had gone in and kept going, hoping he was going the right way. After he started to reach the outskirts of the town he started calling for his brother.

Ed came across a river and started walking along it hopping Al would be sitting out there. However, as he walked he started to get a bad feeling. His calling for Al got more frantic. As he was about to go crazy he noticed someone lying next to the river up ahead. He ran over hoping they had seen Al. But, as he came closer he noticed they were injured and bleeding. Then recognition set in. this was the person Al had chased. Furious Ed grabbed the man by the front of his shirt and shook him.

"Where's my brother," he demanded.

The man coughed, spewing blood on himself and Ed. "Who?"

"The giant suit of armor that was chasing you!"

"Ha ha ha," he coughed up more blood and smiled up at Ed and it was ugly. "He fell into the river and never resurfaced. Stupid, he should have got out of the armor and surfaced."

Ed saw red, he hauled back with his right arm and punched the guy in the gace. But, once wasn't enough once he got started. He just kept going till there was nothing left of the mans skull, just a pulpy mess on the green of the grass below him.

As Ed finally realized what he'd done he jerked up, eyes wide and his chest heaving. Before panic set in his eyes fell on the river. He had to get Al out of there. Maybe there was still time to get his soul back. He stripped off his boots, jacket, and shirt. He waded into the river. It was deep and cold, but Ed went down to the bottom and searched for Al. He had to resurface twice before he finally spotted his brothers armor. He quickly brought his hands together and brought Al to the surface and started his climb back to the surface as well.

"Al," he called out tentatively, hoping to get and answer. "Al?" He pulled off the helmet and looked in side. The seal was gone. Ed's insides just went as empty as the armor. _Al is gone._ The thought repeated like a mantra in his head. On autopilot, Ed bit through his thumb, barely registering the sharp sting, and redrew the seal on the armor and replicated it on his remaining leg and arm for sacrifice. Nothing happened when he activated the circle. Something vital in Ed's heart died. He could feel it. As soon as the hope left something broke and he felt nothing, just a great emptiness. A great chasm opened up in his chest and swallowed his heart.

Without even thinking Ed turned and clapped his hand, and placed them on the ground, sending the remains of the man that killed his brother to be buried in the mud at the bottom of the river. Then turning he used the small tree next to the river to create a cart, and moved the armor to the cart and started the long trip to Resembool to bury his brother. The more he walked the more his mind sank into it's own dark world. His feet moving with out him to find their way home.

* * *

Ed looked up from his plate, which is where his eyes had fallen soon after starting his tale. He of course had left out the part about killing the man though. Instead he told them he just left the man to his own devices. Roy didn't even know he'd killed a man.

"Please excuse me," Ed said as he stood and left the room to the silent women. He walked up to his room, closed the door, and threw himself on the bed and tried to think of nothing.

Author Note!!!

Hey everybody! Thank you for reading, first of all. I appreciate the reviews and comments! But there is not chap this time. I want to let those of you who have all ready read chapters 1 and 2 the first time around that I did rewrite parts and edited details of the story and added a lot more to chap 2. So I suggest you go back and reread chapters one and two or when I post three you won't know what's going on.

I would like to see more reviews though. I want to know if there are things you guys want to see incorporated into the story or if you like what I'm doing now. As it is I'm thinking of redoing chapter one cause I don't like how much Ed cries.

Thanks to everyone who reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

Chap 3

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knows he's sitting up in bed; His eyes wide and chest heaving. He slowly came back to his senses. As his heart rate slowed he realized he was sweaty. He decided that even though the sky was mostly dark still, he was going to take a shower. Gathering his things he headed out side to the side of the house and started the water. Calming from the shower, his mind fuzzy and empty, he finished and went back to his room, only to find he was no longer sleepy. He didn't want to chance another nightmare anyway, and suddenly squeamish about having breakfast with the Rockbell women.

The sun was now beginning to make an appearance on the horizon, turning the sky shades of pink, orange, purple and blue. He knew the women would still sleep for another hour or two. He made up his mind and got dressed. He headed into town to have breakfast there. And hide until his resolve came back. He was afraid of what they would think of him now; and knowing whatever they blame him of he couldn't argue because it would be the truth. However, calling and blaming yourself for things is one thing, but to have two people throwing it at you too is a whole other ball game.

By the time he made it to town the local dinner was just opening. It was a good thing too. Not eating the night before, not sleeping well, and walking to town had all worked against him to make him feel like he was about to collapse. He made it to his chair and slumped over the table. He must have looked about how he felt because a pretty waitress came be with a glass of water and looked at him nervously. He thanked her and waved her off, not quite ready to think about food. Two glasses of water later he was feeling better, and decided on a small combo p late. By the time it arrived he was even better and actually cleaned his plate for the first time in a month. He paid for the bill and left a decent tip before leaving. Food down, his mind was back to working and it was not pleasant. He ended up in the town square sitting on a bench by the fountain in the center with his head in his hands, which were propped on his knees.

Some time later he was finally resigned to his fate and started a slow walk back to the Rockbell house. Walking up to the house, it was quiet. He wasn't sure what he had expected to happen. Maybe, he would have walked up and Winry would beat him to death with a wrench, or find both of them on the porch waiting to tear into him verbally and maybe physically too. He made it up to his room and stared out the window at the sky dotted with white fluffy clouds. Next thing he knew he woke to a disturbance on the mattress. His heart gave a painful lurch as he realized the movement had been Winry sitting down on the bed near his hip. His heart finally decided to beat again and just as he realized he had held his breath he took a deep breath and mentally cursed him self, as he fell into his coughing his chest seized up in pain. Winry hesitated with her arms out stretched like she wanted to help, but not sure if that would make it worse or not.

"Pinako," She cried out shrilly, as she gave up and just had no idea what to do as she thought Edward would die right there on the bed. By the time she got there Edward's coughing had stopped, but he was still wheezing and clutching his chest with one hand, the other still over his mouth.

"Edward, are you okay," Winry asked. Edward waited a bit more before he was going to answer. Pinako was silent, but she was watching him observing every detail and committing it to memory. Gathering his courage he held out the hand that had been over his mouth. Pinako's eyes went wide in shock. Winry looked closer and was still confused as to what was going on. She knew blood was bad but the significance just wasn't coming to her. Before she could ask Pinako spoke up, much to Ed's relief. Now he wouldn't have to tell them himself.

"Do you remember in school when they gave you a shot in your arm and it left a bubble in your skin until it went away," She addressed to Winry, who nodded. "That was to make sure the shot you got as a baby was still in effect, and you hadn't caught what the shot was for. Sometimes a person can be a host to the disease and later in life contract it, other times the body fights off the shot instead of incorporating it to memory on how to fight it. Edward, one way or another contracted the disease," She turned and looked at Edward's pail, drawn face as she said, "Tuberculosis."

Edward closed his eyes as he gave a faint nod as his breathing finally returned to normal. "But," Winry said looking from Edward to Pinako, "don't people die from that?"

"Yes, if it's caught too late the person always dies," from the tone of her voice Ed knew she suspected the truth of the question she was about to ask, "Did you find out too late Edward?"

Feeling both of their gases on him he opened his eyes and looked back weakly at Pinako, "Yes." The silence was deafening. Ed was positive that Pinako was being strong and dependable for Winry, and that was the reason why as Winry broke down into tears, Pinako silently went to her and wrapped her arms around Winry's shoulders. He knew before his visit was over she would find him a lone and they would talk. About what, he wasn't sure, but there would be something. He could see it in her face.

After Winry had calmed some, Pinako ushered her out so Edward could have some peace. He wasn't quite sure what to do now. He had expected another discussion on Al or what he's done after leaving or something along those lines. Now, he's been forced to tell them about his impending death, again far sooner then he had wanted too. He just didn't seem to have any luck any more. "_Al must have taken it all with him_," he thought bitterly. But, he couldn't let his thoughts get too much darker or he'd never find his way out again. Deciding he was still plenty tired he decided to continue his nap.

* * *

"Edward." What were they doing? He just lay down! Couldn't he get any peace? "Edward, you have to get up. Dinner's ready." Dinner? What happened to lunch? Slowly he forced his eyes open. His eye lids felt like stone, so heavy. Pinako was staring at him funny, her brow creased in thought or worry. Ed had to blink at her a few more times to be rid of the heaviness in his eye lids.

"Why didn't anyone wake my up for lunch?" Ed struggled to sit up right, but his limbs felt so weak and his automail so heavy.

He could tell now that it was worry that creased her forehead. "We tried. You were dead to the world, the doctors been and gone." At the look of out rage on Ed's face, Pinako answered, "We wanted to be sure you hadn't slipped into a coma or something like it. Aren't you cold Edward?"

"Why would I be cold? Besides with my hair down I stay warmer." Pinako didn't say anything as shock finally hit him. How had his hair been taken down? Why was his shirt gone? When he'd gone to sleep his hair was braided and his shirt had been warmly in place. He looked to Pinako, "What'd you do?"

"We resorted to dumping water on you, to shock you awake. When it didn't work we called the doctor." Edward could do nothing; he was so unprepared for the news. He tried to not think about how sick he was getting but to have that level for proof shoved in his face was surprising.

"What did he say," Edward finally asked, his curiosity piqued.

"That your illness is very advanced and moving more quickly then it probably was before. . . Edward, why don't you stay here with us now? Here, you can be taken care of you till the end," Pinako said gently.

Ed's reply was quick and firm, "No. I won't do that to Roy." Pinako gave him a confused look, and then it finally clicked, what he'd just said to her. He sighed and steadied him self before looking her in the eyes. "I'm staying with Colonel Mustang. I love him, and he loves me." Ed could see the skin around her eyes tighten in stress before she nodded and turned to leave.

As she was stepping through the door she stopped and tossed over her shoulder, "Let Winry down easy, Edward. Wash up, it's time for dinner." She closed he door and retreated to the kitchen.

Well Roy was going to be happy. All the news he came to give has been aired and now he could get his automail tightened and head home. He just had to tell Winry he was in love with his commanding officer. How bad could it be? Yeah right, who was he kidding? It's going to be a disaster! Probably a lot of crying or worse, a wrench to the head! Maybe he should transmute a helmet for this.

Dinner was easy enough though. No one talked, Winry was still depressed about his impending doom and Pinako was either shocked still or disgusted. He was hopping on shocked. As Pinako started on the dishes, Ed caught Winry in the hall and pulled her to the side, "Winry, can you tighten my automail, please?" he was hopping getting her to think about work would help brake the ice some, and it did.

"What'd you do to it now Edward?" she gave him a stern look, but nothing as scary as she could.

"Um, I think I lost some weight." He looked at her sheepishly.

"Oh, okay. Come on, lets get it done now." She turned and headed for her workshop.

"Sure," he said as he followed her.

As Winry was putting her tools away he decided to spring, "Winry, I have to tell you something," he waited till she looked at him. "I'm gay."

With out even blinking she said, "I know Edward."

"You . . . know," Edward said stunned.

"Yes, Edward I know. You were always prone to overreactions, drama and perfection. For goodness sake you made your red coat." She then smiled at him. "So, who is he? This guy you're in love with."

Edward blushed a bit as he answered, "Roy. He saved me. After Al died I didn't know what to do, didn't want to do anything. Roy took his vacation time and stayed home with me when I snapped. He picked me up off the floor and got me moving again. I would have given up long ago if it hadn't been for him."

"I'm happy for you Edward. Does he know about," she had to stop and swallow a couple of times, "about you being sick?"

She suddenly looked a little more pail, but he answered, "Yes, he does. I told him just before I left."

"What!? Edward, are you stupid? Have you called him at all since you've been here?"

"No, I told him I'd be back as soon as I could," He was forced to stop as Winry spoke over him.

"Edward you call him, and you get on a train home tonight!"

"Winry, he's fine," but again Winry cut him off.

"Have you talked to him? I don't think so! Edward you dropped a bomb on him and then just left! Are you crazy? He's probably going insane thinking you've died and we didn't tell him, or that you're too sick to get back to him. You need to call him and tell him you're okay and coming back tonight."

Edward was quiet a moment, thinking about what she'd just said. He suddenly felt really bad, guilty, for not calling him sooner, or even thinking about it himself. "You're right, Winry. If I was in his place I'd be going crazy. I'll give him a call right now." He got up and wandered into the kitchen to use the phone.

The phone rang a long time before it was picked up. "Hello?" it was Roy, but he sounded terrible, his voice sounded rough and worn out.

"Roy?" Ed couldn't help the note of worry I his voice.

"Edward?" His voice picked up and Ed could practically see Roy's eyes light up.

"Hi, um, sorry I didn't call you sooner. I'm coming home tonight. I'm going to catch the last train, and be home soon. How are you doing?" Ed suddenly felt awkward and shy, calling Roy out of no where.

"You're okay?"

"Yeah, I talked to the women and got my automail adjusted, and talked to Mom and Al."

"You're coming home? Now?"

"Yes," Edward fidgeted a bit at the sound of Roy's surprise and happiness.

"I love you Edward. Come home to me."

Edward was silent a heart beat, surprised that Roy sounded like he really needed him there with him. "I miss you too. I'll be home soon, I promise. I need to go now if I'm going to make the train in time. Roy?"

"Yes, Edward?"

Ed was quiet a moment debating if he really wanted to say what he wanted to or not. In the end he settled with, "I love you too."

"I'll see you soon."

"Yes you will." And they hung up. Edward stared at the phone for a while, thinking. He felt de needed to tell Roy of the man he killed, but he didn't know of he could handle it if Roy left him because of it. He didn't want to push Roy away, but he felt deep down that he had to tell someone, and Roy was the only person he _needed_ to know. Will, he'd have to take care of it later. He had to hurry if he was going to pack and make it to the station before the last train left.

The girls stopped him on the porch. Pinako gave him a hug and wished him luck. Winry also hugged him, but also gave him a kiss on the cheek before dashing down the stairs, and into the growing night. He just barely made the train in time. Again, the train ride was way too long! This time, however, it was because he couldn't get home to Roy fast enough. He was tempted to force the train to move faster, but he was able to restrain himself when he'd gotten too worked up and had another coughing fit. That sapped all his excess energy away. He slept the rest of the trip home.

* * *

As he got off the train he pulled his coat around him more securely and started home. As he reached the house he tried the door, but it was locked. Roy was probably still at work. He let himself in and made his way upstairs, emptied his travel bag and got into the shower. It felt wonderful to be home again, to walk into their bedroom and be able to smell Roy's intoxicating sent.

Ed wandered down to the kitchen and found it a mess. The sink was full of dirty dishes and the counters littered with bits and pieces of different fixings for dinner. As he started cleaning the counters and washing dishes he couldn't help but to wonder, what happened to Roy? He never left things a mess for this long. Confused, he started to clean things up and start dinner. So focused on dinner, Ed didn't hear the door or Roy's footsteps. It was as he turned to move from the stove to the table that he say Roy looming in the doorway.

"Geese, you scared me! What," but Ed noticed that something was wrong with Roy; he looked like someone had killed his favorite cat. "Roy? What's up?"

"You have to leave," Roy said defeat and bitterness dripping from his every word.

Ed froze. Leave how? Leave the house? Leave Roy? Leave the city? But, Roy's tone of voice finally sank into his consciousness and he really started thinking. "I have a mission."

Roy nodded dejectedly, "I tried to stop it. I tried every angle I could and he wouldn't budge."

"Where am I going?" Ed knew there was nothing he could do about it if Roy couldn't. The best he could do is go and hope he'd some how make it home again. It really wasn't fair though to send him out again when he just got back from an extensive mission, but he was a dog of the military and he would obey.

"Ishbal."


End file.
